Thursday, September 3, 2015

Hello World, Goodbye Amniotic Fluid

The day is 11 July 2015. The time? How the hell should I know, I'm a dog and time means nothing to me. The only time I acknowledge is mealtime and my timepiece seems to be situated in my stomach which growls periodically and at that point I fill it with whatever is to hand, or mouth in our case.

I'm one of a litter of three, two boys one girl, so there's plenty to go round since mother is a good supplier of milk and it seems to be our job to job to drink as much of it as we can to stop her undercarriage dragging along the ground and wearing out her nipples. We're good at our job. In fact I think I'm the best followed by my brother with sister dearest bringing up the rear though you wouldn't think it to hear the little fishwife. Luckily we were all deaf for the first couple of weeks but when that wore off her grumbling started and it hasn't stopped. God but she's a trial. Girls eh? Boys you can just beat the shit out of but girls they're a whole different case and something stops us guys from being too rough.

Mum's servants seem driven to introduce us to as much new sensation as possible which is something of a pain when all we want to do is eat, sleep and chew the crap out of each other but mainly sleep. This growing stuff is tiring. All the visitors pick us up, hold us to their faces and breath in. Then they make strange sounds and bear their teeth like they are going to take a bite. They don't seem to follow through which is good. Sometimes the same ones come back. I can tell because of their scent. One pair have been 3 or 4 times, mauled us around a bit and then left. I have no idea what that's all  about.

A few days ago we were all lined up, someone pointed a tube at us and there was a sharp click and our humans all made strange cooing noises as they looked at something. I have no idea what was going on but this seems to be the result.

Photo: David Whiteman
That's me in the middle with the elephantine ankles, though I'd have to say that Sis is not doing too badly in the pudgy stakes.Triple cute eh? Wait 'til you feel the teeth. They're shaaaarp.

Getting tired now and need to feed and have a sleep. Mum's not so keen on feeding us now our teeth have come through but her servants give us some strange mushy white/red stuff which is not as easy to swallow as milk so we have to chew it to get it down. Good job we've been practising on each other for a while! Tastes pretty good though and doesn't squeal like the bro when I bite into it. 

Not sure why but I have a strange sense of impending doom. Still tomorrow is another day. Toodle pip for now.

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