Like Upstairs Downstairs Only Backwards

Hi Folks, another brief chapter in this hiccuping diatribe that is my blog/diary. The butler says that when he was little, kindly relations would provide him with diaries for Christmas so he could be the next Samuel Pepys and he'd march off with them and a big bag full of good intentions. The diaries usually had entries for 1 January, 2 January and, if it was really wet outside, perhaps 3 January then... nothing. Not one single entry after that. I'm afraid this record of my existence is shaping up the same way and you'll have to forgive me for that. I'll try harder.

 Hey, I’ve made a discovery. There's a set of wooden platforms going upwards from the hall and recently, while the guv'nor wasn't paying attention, I snuck up there and, lo and behold there's a whole new world up there! I had a blast and, while I've got a nice new and pretty swish bed in the kitchen area, the staff have an enormous sleeping platform up there that dwarfs mine. There's something cockeyed somewhere or my name's not Sid which it is. Surely the staff are supposed to live in the cellar whilst those more privileged take to the high bastions of the building. I'll have to see if there's some rule somewhere that can be invoked to rectify this appalling injustice. The maid was not best pleased by my adventures aloft and chased me back down. Probably embarrassed by the state of things under their bed. Someone either coming or going under there obviously. Now my appetite has been whetted, I'm itching for another opportunity to explore. Actually I'm just itching generally but I guess that's just the sand and salt from the beach...or maybe something else? 

What? Oh yeah I'm aware that I've been a bit tardy with the entries lately but, you know, life is just so full of, well, stuff and there's not much time to faff around with diaries and such. I'd much rather be chasing foxes, badgers cats and spiders in the garden when I'm not roaming across the country park where there are amazing scent vistas that defy description. 

More anon.

PS - the staff deserted me for ages recently and left me with complete strangers who were actually rather nicer than the humans I'm used to. They had several dogs who sort of tolerated me...just but one in particular a pretty young blonde who they called Amber. She and I hit it off big time and midway through my stay she began to smell amaaaaazing! At that point I was hurridley ushered out of company much to my disappointment and was barely allowed to see her which was a shame. I'm sure we could have thought of something to do. Anyway, when the staff did deign to return, smelling vaguely of olives and goats I hear talk of me being 'done' whatever that entails. Time will no doubt tell.

In Which Our Hero Keeps On Keeping On

Sorry folks but this is the first proper post of 2016 doing this blog is something low on my list of priorities at the moment because the learning curve is steep and slippery and my resolve is weak since I find typing somewhat trying what with the lack of decent digits and all. I’ll try to be more regular but I’m not promising anything.

Because inland is more or less a sea of mud( sounds a bit contradictory I know), most of our walks have been on the beach. On the whole I love it though it can be a bit boring and flat. The light, on the other hand (see below), is amazing and there have been some beautiful mornings that are memorable for all the right reasons.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about

Moving on, I’ve got an amazing new game. This involves luring the help into a sense of false security then, when they least expect it and I'm off the leash, disappearing into the distance to talk to all the people and dogs on the beach. This huge fun! Firstly, because I’m low to the ground I’m really difficult to spot and I get almost as much free time to myself as I like, second because it really annoys the staff and thirdly I get to chat to loads and loads of dogs and people most of whom are very receptive. There is the odd snotty look mostly from the DTWs or ‘down-for-the weekenders’ who are probably the most anti-social bunch on the planet. I guess it’s because making eye contact where they come from is likely to get you mugged or worse. Of course they were in the majority over the Christmas and New Year period but luckily they have jobs to return to and the beach gets less crowded and much friendlier when they’ve headed back from whence they came in their sparkling 4x4s and Audis. It must be really muddy in London to need all that traction but I digress. From now until Easter, I’m told, life will be a lot more pally. Good job too, the sight of parents snatching up their precious toddlers as I barrel towards them is quite disturbing and the help gets quite a few dirty looks which doesn’t put them in the best of tempers either. Don't know what all the fuss is about us canines are only allowed on the beach between November and May so I guess if people don't like dogs they could always avoid the place. They'll have it all to themselves on 1 May nudists and all.

Dog? Doesn't look anything like a dog.

Anyhoo, be that as it may January & February was, on the whole one long beano. The three-legged thing is really beginning to take hold and I'm anointing more and more stuff with my pheromones by the day. The beach, whilst not exactly ever deserted, has enough walkers and their attendant canines to make it all very eventful and I've been bowled over a few times which is a bit ignominious. Attracted the attention of a couple of long dogs who must've thought I was some kind of beach rabbit with a tail and coursed me down the beach. Bit of a nasty moment until I showed them my canines and they twigged that I wasn't any kind of rodent. SLowed them down just enough for me to re-join the staff. Not much sympathy from that quarter though, the butler just says if I can't take a joke I shouldn't have joined so I just had to shake myself off and get on with it. All part of life's rich tapestry whatever that means.

Been making my self useful as you can see. Alternative caption reads 'Let me in, I need to go out again'. 

Just checking the window cleaner's doing his job correctly

So it’s onwards & upwards. Catch y’all later. Toodle pip.

The Last/First Post - 2015/16

First post of 2016 people and just time to wish all of you a ripping New Year. I know I’ll have one:)

A couple of pix from the last couple of days shot from the help’s phone. One of holly flowering at Studland beach (we’ll probably be having a barbecued Christmas dinner next year at this rate).

Holly in bloom - in December?

And finally a view up the Jurassic Coast towards Portland from Hound’s Tout which, when we weren’t being blown over, was quite spectacular. Before you ask I have no idea what the name means perhaps it's French.

View towards Portland from Hound's Tout 

That’s all folks. Catch up soon. See y'all

PS - Storm Frank is currently scouring the coastline and sounding for all the world like it's about to blow the house down. I might be learning to swim sooner than I expected. See you in the near future if we've not been gathered. Ta ta, again.